Just back from Spain. It was good to hug Karen after a week away. I saw "The Time Traveler's Wife" as we were flying over the Atlantic and I thought about all the young couples we know falling in and out of love.

A few of them will actually make it to the altar. It goes without saying that marriage is complicated in this day and age and many of them are intimidated by it. So I asked my old friend Kevin McCarthy, who has been a pastor most of his life, what advice he has for couples preparing for marriage. He's counseled his share of newliweds. He suggests the following four steps:

1. If the people getting married aren't believers, read and discuss "The Christ-Centered Marriage" from Dr. Neil Anderson.


2. Make 'em complete the "Personal History Questionaire" from marriagebuilders. After finishing, exchange them, and interview each other concerning it. Then deal with the "red flag" issues (ie: sexual abuse, financial debts, h/o substance abuse, criminal records, etc....)


3. Next, read chapter 1-12 of His Needs/Her Needs. To help them understand each other's top needs and develop a basic plan to meet them in marriage, they should take the Core Emotional Needs Questionnaire and review it together.



4. In three years, he brings them back for a Love Busters group.