I was down in south Florida in the car with old friends this weekend. We were talking about relationships and we realized that a lot of people make friends with you because of what they can get out of the relationship.

Tammy glibly referred to that as a "stepping stone relationship."

I'd never heard the term before, and said, "Wait, where did you get that term - what does it mean?"

Apparently, these kind of relationships are especially common in south Florida and in cities like New York. They happen because people are trying to get ahead. You've got something they want, so they do what they have to in order to get it from you. It's the opposite of Jesus' gospel of allowing people to use you. (Matt. 5-7)

My thought is, nobody wants to use people that way, but if they are wounded badly enough or if you put them under pressure, it happens. People under pressure become less caring about relationships.

And beneath that, is a deeper thought that makes it easier to treat people as objects: "I'm resource-poor and to get what I need I have to use people" - it's a poverty mentality.

I'll leave you with a few questions to consider:

To what extent do you have stepping stone relationships?

What's the difference between networking and stepping stone relationships?

How do you guard against using people?