I've watched those who look a lot like Jesus to me and those who are, in John Eldredge's words, just "posers." I suppose there are a lot reasons for the difference between the two groups. Two of the most fundamental factors are a hunger for more of God and a basic humility. Here's a great quote from "The Seeking Heart" by Fenelon:

“The most important thing is humility. Humility gives you a teachable spirit that makes everything easier.

Consider the life of Jesus. He was born in a stable. He had to flee to Egypt. He worked 30 years in the shop of a craftsman. He suffered hunger, thirst and fatigue. He was poor and He was ridiculed. He taught the doctrine of heaven and no one listened to him. He was treated like a slave, betrayed, and died between two thieves. Jesus' life was full of humiliation, but we are horrified by the slightest humiliation.

How do you expect to know Jesus if you do not see Him where He was found: in suffering and the cross. You must imitate Him. But do not think you can follow Him in your own strength - you are going to have to find all your strength in Him. Remember that Jesus wants to feel all your weaknesses."

That runs counter to everything society seems to teach us. Richard Rohr distinguishes between the false self and the true self. Those who don't need to defend themselves, who don't struggle with identity crises, who have found the secret of contentment, have come to peace with who they really are.

To become like Christ, we need to find ways to humble ourselves. By serving others, by putting the needs of others first, we posture ourselves to grow, and paradoxically to begin discovering the secret of abundant living.