I first got to know Jess by email in Sept. '07. She wrote an email that I posted as a blog about being tired of waiting for God. She'd lost a child and was emotionally spent. She wrote: His grace is not sufficient for me. It is not well nor ever will be well with my soul.

But that wasn't the end of the story. A year later, she wrote me that God had broken through for her and I again blogged that (each time she gave me permission). Recently, she sent me the following story of how God began to restore her lost confidence in him. I hope that you get this one thing from her story: It is OK for us to rail against God. He's not offended by our anger or our disappointment. Here, Jess tells us about how she began to reconnect with God through a terrible accident:

After losing my baby, I lost thebelief that GOD protects me. I had actual fear b/c of it. I was just hit head-on, and my large car crumbled, the airbags went off and I was in shock. I don't even know what happened. I lost consciousness for a few minutes and awoke to the car alarm going off, glass all over me and smoke suffocating me.

I couldn't get my door open; I was stuck. "Jesus help me, Jesus help me," I said. That door moved more and more as I said that. I even pushed it with my feet. One more "Jesus help me," and I was out. The door closed behind me

The fire trucks came, and the guys ran toward the car with the "jaws of life." They were trying to get the door open with crow bars. The car was darkened with smoke. They didn't know I was out. Watching and wondering what they were doing, I walked over and said, "I'm out!" It caused major confusion.

"How did you get out?"

"I couldn't at first, but then I called on Jesus and kept calling and kept calling... and Jesus helped me get out." It didn't make sense that the door was then closed, and they couldn't reopen it.

Revelations:

• First, call on Jesus.
• Second, call on Jesus.
• Third, call on Jesus. Keep calling - while you are pushing with all your might to move through.
• "Fight the good fight."

I was getting out of that car, and Jesus was my strength. I truly with my very breath (because it counted on it) was working in my faith,
praying with three words, "Jesus, help me!" I know my God sent a angel warrior to pull the door on the other side. I realized that he would do only what I couldn't. I still had to keep calling and keep fighting to move it forward. I knew that he wouldn't let me be stuck there. For the first time since I lost my baby, I knew with certainty that he would not forsake me. I was humbled. The best prayer is in one word: "Jesus." If you are fragile in your faith and weak in your flesh, just call out for Jesus. I now know why the car door closed and why ten firemen with equipment were unable to reopen it. God opens doors, and God closes them. And no one's might will waiver his grace. I further understand that the closed door was protection from further destruction.

His eye is still on this sparrow. I don't understand why I lost a child. I never will... But today, I feel he is not far. He is right beside me. He is able. He protects me. Feels good to say that again. I have a few bruises and some burns on my wrist, but I walked away literally from death. Again, counting on God's word to be authentic. Jesus is the Savior!